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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:38:01 AM PST |
Why is Jesus lucky?
He got nailed three times in one night |
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| Posted by: ban the ants |
Topics started: 199 |
Replies posted: 1654 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:38:34 AM PST |
| bbbrrgahhaha!!!!!! |
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| Posted by: My Screenname |
Topics started: 77 |
Replies posted: 778 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:42:47 AM PST |
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning the father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!"
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them all in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in the father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms."
"Oh my," gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them," she replied.
The third nun said, "Oh shit." |
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| Posted by: ban the ants |
Topics started: 199 |
Replies posted: 1654 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:44:22 AM PST |
| hahahaha!!!! |
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| Posted by: My Screenname |
Topics started: 77 |
Replies posted: 778 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:46:44 AM PST |
How did Jesus die?
He got hit by a speed boat |
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| Posted by: ban the ants |
Topics started: 199 |
Replies posted: 1654 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:53:32 AM PST |
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say; “Jesus is watching you.”
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around the room. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”
“Yes,” Said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then asked the parrot: “What is your name?”
“Clarence,” said the bird.
“That is a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”
The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the rottweiller Jesus.” |
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| Posted by: ban the ants |
Topics started: 199 |
Replies posted: 1654 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:53:57 AM PST |
A hippy gets on a bus....he sees a beautiful young nun sitting by the window...
He sprays fly spray under his arms, strides up the immauculate nun and sides next to her.
He trys to convince the young nun to make unbriddled passionate love to his naked body, and....to give up her vows...
The nun gets off at the next stop.
The Bus Driver giggling says:
"mate, come here and i'll let you in on a bit of secret mate. Well, you know nuns right, they're married to Jesus"...
"yyyeeeaaahhhaaa sooo..." replies the stoned crusty hippy.
"so...the bus driver replies.
"the only way you'll get any of that action is go to the gravyard 2night, where she'll be doing her prayes, dressed up as jesus, and command her to make love to you."
"well way alright!!!" replies the hippy.
that night, sure enough, the crusty hippy dressed himself up as jesus and went to the graveyard.
He saw the nun - the nun looked up at him
The crusty hippy said:
"I've travelled along way. You're my wife. I want to make love 2 you".
The nun lifted up the back of her dress and arched her back.
The hippy was stoked...
The hippy really gave it to the nun...after he finished he jumped up and down screaming:
"hahahah, im the hippy, im the hippy"
At that precises moment, the nun ripped off her head gear and cried:
"hahahahaha hahahaha IM THE BUS DRIVER!!!!!!!!! |
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| Posted by: My Screenname |
Topics started: 77 |
Replies posted: 778 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 01:54:36 AM PST |
| hahahaha I like the Parrott joke!!! |
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| Posted by: My Screenname |
Topics started: 77 |
Replies posted: 778 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 02:01:40 AM PST |
| thats fucking great! good job! |
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| Posted by: ban the ants |
Topics started: 199 |
Replies posted: 1654 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 02:01:51 AM PST |
A black, a Jew, and an Indian get into a carwreck. Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter informs them that it is not their time, they were not supposed to die yet. He offers them a deal, "You give me $20, and I'll let you go back down and live the rest of your lives out."
The black guy says, "Fair enough," and hands St. Peter a twenty. Back on earth at the accident scene, he sits bolt upright, shocking the paramedics that had just pronounced him dead. They all gather around to ask him what happened.
"Well, it wasn't my time, so I paid St. Peter 20 bucks and he let me come back from the dead." Noticing the other victims remained lifeless, the paramedics ask why they didn't also take St. Peter up on his offer. The black guy rolls his eyes and says, "Oh, the Jew is trying to talk him down to $12.50, and the Indian is waiting for the Government to pay for it." |
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| Posted by: ban the ants |
Topics started: 199 |
Replies posted: 1654 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 02:07:37 AM PST |
A little boy wanted a new bike for Christmas. His mother told him they did not have any money for a bike. But she told him if he would tell Jesus what a good boy he would be, maybe Jesus would allow him to have one.
The little boy sat down to write Jesus a letter. As he began the letter..."Dear Jesus I will be good for one year..." He scribbled that out and wrote, "Dear Jesus I will be good for one month..." Then he scribbled that out and wrote, "Dear Jesus I will be good for one whole week...." In his disgust he tore up the paper and went for a walk.
As he walked he passed by the local church were there was a Nativity scene. He began to run as fast as he could and, when he past by the figure of Mary, grabbed her up and ran home. He ran in the front door and to his room. There he began a new letter that started..."Dear Jesus if you ever want to see your mother again..." |
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| Posted by: ban the ants |
Topics started: 199 |
Replies posted: 1654 |
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| Wednesday, November 6th 2002 @ 04:10:38 AM PST |
| why is jaryn SO gay for....ummm i dont really no |
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| Posted by: Gutter_BOY |
Topics started: 72 |
Replies posted: 1863 |
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| Thursday, November 7th 2002 @ 03:19:50 AM PST |
BBBBBBRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! if you ever wanna see your mother again!!! hahahaha!!!
Classic!!! |
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| Posted by: My Screenname |
Topics started: 77 |
Replies posted: 778 |
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